CELEBRATING TRIUMPH
At age seven I was sexually abused by my father and grandfather. Those memories were
repressed until four years ago, at age 33. After several years of therapy and a supportive
family, I began to heal. I became stronger during that healing process. By looking
inward to analyze my own pain I learned a lot about myself. I confronted my father
about the abuse and stood my ground during his denial. Through the healing process I
realized why, at age 16, I married an abusive man. It was in an effort to escape my
father, yet I ended up with someone just like him. After eight years of marriage, I left
with my two children.
The abuse left me scared and ashamed of my body, always feeling dirty and unworthy.
Self-acceptance was something I just could not understand. I now know that self
acceptance is the key to abundance. I am trying to learn that the decision to accept
myself and accept happiness is up to me. It is not appropriate to rely on someone else’s
approval because that can be destructive. Human behavior is inconsistent so why would
we want to put our faith in a human? It is one thing to trust and love, but quite another
thing to base our entire self-esteem – the core of our being – on what someone else
thinks.
The childhood and marital abuse has sensitized me to the pain of others and I have been
able to use my own pain to help them. I am very much in touch with my own feelings
and therefore have an insight far beyond my years. I am quick to analyze and get to the
root of a problem, which allows me to be of great benefit to others.
My experiences with abuse have lead me to pursue volunteer work with abused women
and children. I have become an activist within the community, speaking out against
violence. I am able to relate well to those in crisis and show deep concern regarding
emotional issues. I have also grown spiritually and feel a deep connection to my religion.
There is a desire to pursue a career in which I can help others grow and develop. The
pain has strengthened my soul and has given me coping skills that most do not have.
My self-esteem and confidence have grown. I feel a deep commitment to family and a
loyalty as a wife, mother and friend. I have an openness to self development, self
awareness and intuitiveness.
I truly believe that there is a reason for everything, including pain. I now try to keep a
positive focus during the painful times of my life and I welcome the growth that follows.
My outlook is one of steadfast strength and faith. I have learned to also accept the
strength of others, the strength of God, and to trust again. I have survived
abuse, one of the most terrifying and traumatic childhood experiences. That knowledge
alone helps me realize that, as an adult, I can survive just about anything!!
© By Monique Rider 2001
About the Author
Monique is a survivor of adversity! She believes there are blessings in our struggles. Monique is also the owner of Trinity Coaching Services, a company that provides personal development coaching services. In addition, Monique is a competitive bodybuilder, wife, mother, and published author. To learn more about Monique and personal coaching visit: http://home.talkcity.com/workoutpl/trinitycoachingservices/ or email Monique at: MoniqueRider@msn.com