Everyone claims to come from a dysfunctional family these days. If you believe what you hear, no-one can claim “normal” in their homes anymore! However, successful holidays with family and friends are possible by remembering the little things ...
A Better Way
Learn the different ways things can be done by thinking outside of the box. We often hear “I’ve always done it this way”. Particularly during times of chaotic activity and extra schedule stresses, it makes sense to seek alternative methods of achieving daily tasks. “Creativity requires an attitude that is a paradoxical blend of attention and relaxation,” explains Joshua Coleman, San Francisco-based psychologist.
Involve your friends and family. Empower them to make decisions and to solve day-to-day problems. Let go of rigid demands for perfection, and combine steps whenever possible, particularly during the holidays.
Leave Your Problems Behind
Avoid taking your problems from one situation to another. It’s a new season! Consider it possible that this year holiday festivities will go smoothly; be positive. Even if everything goes wrong, ask “so what?” Columnist and author Barbara Bartlein says, “Love the illusion. People like to believe good things, even when they know they aren’t true.” Your attitude around others can greatly impact them. According to the great Winston Churchill, “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” By being positive and supportive, others are more likely to act similarly.
Knowledge Is Important
Most people thrive when skill building and learning are part of their daily experiences. Knowledge does not have to cost a lot. Read! Adults who are the happiest, according George Vaillant M.D., are the ones who accept changes keep connected to friends and family, and perhaps most important, keep feeding their minds. Especially during the holiday season, it is important to keep yourself focused by feeding your mind and expanding your intellectual horizons.
The Power of Praise
Recognizing and rewarding people is one the most powerful ways to impact morale. Acknowledge good effort, not just results. John F. Kennedy said, “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
During the throes of holiday pressures, the power of praise may do more to diffuse tense situations than any other tactic. Your family, friends, and coworkers are stressed too, so pass along the compliments and sprinkle generously with honest appreciation. Besides, giving away praise is fun and makes you feel good as well.
Merriment
There are important milestones in life; be sure to celebrate them. So much of time we forget to see how far we have come. Celebrate your seasonal accomplishments, even if they seem miniscule. If the holiday calendar is too cramped, schedule a recognition ceremony for the New Year, be it a promotion, a raise, an award, an anniversary, etc.
Pulitzer prizewinner Thornton Wilder said “My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your platethat's my philosophy.” While you’re at it, pamper yourself, too, by soaking in a fragrant bath, getting enough sleep, and taking brisk walks in the winter air to help your body secrete brain chemicals that counteract “Grinch” situations.
Give Something Back
Contrary to popular belief, you can take it with you! Not gold, frankincense, or myrrh, but years of learning and experience that are called wisdom! Ponder the knowledge you hold from which someone else can benefit. How can you extend yourself for the good of others? Is there someone you can mentor? The “Season of Giving” is an especially appropriate time to share your time and talents, or make a firm commitment to do so right after the holidays.
About the Author
Roxanne Vincent and Deb Voss Quail sponsor the Insights For Women lecture series in Delafield, WI. Together they own Vincent Voss Ventures LLC, which publicizes and promotes programs of importance to women.