by: Dorothy Lafrinere
Why are there so many women haunted by a low self-esteem ?
I have shared many thoughts through out my blogs on feelings, jealousy, worries, fears, and self-esteem. Every day I receive mail from all over the world from women suffering from a lack of inner power to get through the day, due to a low self-esteem. It does not only affect their relationships at home, it also follows them into their work place, where they are being suffocated from a lack of confidence.
In a work place the power of self-esteem needs to be high so that ones confidence can guide them through actions such as: important decision making, dealings with an opposite sex boss, office politics, other staff members trying to gain on your efforts, talking to clients or customers on the phone or in person, dealing with rejection regarding your work, and even things as simple as fitting into the social side of your job (making friends). People deal with this everyday, and when they are suffering inside, their power of self-esteem is definitely very low. Then they still have to deal with the rest of their day. It's no wonder the corner bar looks like a nice hide-away.
There are two parts to the meaning of the power of self-esteem:
1: self-acceptance, which is an appreciation of ones worth as a human being.
2: self-confidence, the knowing that you are competent enough to use your gifts to their fullest.
To have the power of self-esteem, one must be able to feel both emotions in a positive manner.
Through ones life, they have learned through negative experiences to doubt themselves, to fear criticism and ridicule. They have also learned to cut themselves down at a glance of someone else they deem to be richer, prettier, or smarter. They eventually lose the power of self-esteem.
We can run through our past, over and over and over again. We can bang our heads on the wall, we can create eating disorders in ourselves, we can cut up our bodies just to feel something, or we can even turn away from everyone we love and cherish for fear they may just find that one tiny keyhole to unlock our self-pity trap we are in. We can do just about anything to not find the strength to gain back the power of self-esteem. It is after all the easy road to take, is it not? To fail, to cry out for sympathy, to get attention, even if it is the wrong attention. I have learned one very important thing in all my work through helping women gain the power of self-esteem, no matter how many times you see someone prettier, skinnier, richer, taller, smarter, happier, better spoken, or with a colgate smile you envy, the sun will come up tomorrow with or without you. Your worries and self-pity caused by your weakness to control the power of self-esteem that is inside of you. It is waiting to be used as the gift that you were born with. You can spend hours hurting and suffering inside because you are not, or cannot be who you think you should have been. You must stop allowing yourself to feel threatened by the world. When your mind feels threatened, it will automatically react to protect you. This is where your thoughts and your actions collide. Confusion becomes part of your thinking now and this is when the negative emotions take over fast and furious. Into the pit, you go.
The ability to shift your focus to positive mental thoughts during stress is the most important link needed to escape any emotional trap we fall into. The power of self-esteem is all about your first thought and how you deal with it. It is at that split second that you have to decide to think positively or just plain toss it out of your head. Tossing negative thoughts is something I have mentioned before,"HABITS".
Your goal is to offset the mind-body reaction to the stresses we are constantly forced to deal with through society. The power of self-esteem can be gained if you really want it. I know that I have filled my website and my articles with everything from A-Z on steps to get you there.
Women are still in constant belief that only over weight woman, or not so pretty woman (by society`s standards) are at risk of losing the power of self-esteem.
Again I repeat this over and over, please read ,"Why Do Pretty Girls Cry". It's all there. I speak of the pretty girls, and society`s way of convincing you that only ugly girls cry. I know that is a harsh statement, but I am trying to get through to every person on earth that the power of self-esteem is in each and everyone of us. We are all born with it. Yes we all have our reasons for our weaknesses. OK, now that we know that, lets move on. How can we fight off the negative thoughts that bring us down? Through my thoughts in my website and blogs, you can educate yourself and learn to improve your thinking habits. It is possible, but not easy at all. That is the reason so many of you fail to gain the power of self-esteem. You have no consistent learning strength. You fear anything that takes time and dedication.
Then why is it that you will search endlessly through every search engine for ways to get you through this hell you are in, pay a nonsensical amount of money to a therapist to tell you what you already know, cut yourself, or make your body suffer through eating disorders, not to mention put yourself and your friends in so much turmoil over your inability to create better mind over matter habits? Can you see what I see there? I see that you do have the power of self-esteem. You do have the patience, the will and the strength to shine. You do not need to worry about anything. You choose to worry and you allow the negative thoughts. Ask yourself the next time you feel threatened, "If I do not stop this negative thought, will it change who I am, or make me that of which I envy?" NOT and NO!!!!! Please realize this, only you are suffering in that pit. Only you are losing out on all the smiles that life has right at your reach. You are in control of your happiness. You can toss off all those comments or remarks. You can turn your back on someones else's weakness or problems that may cause you to feel less than who you really are. Let them suffer in their own stupidity. No one can threaten you, but you. Do this also when you feel the challenge of negative versus positive thinking:
BREATHE DEEPLY
IDENTIFY THE NEGATIVE
NOW THINK THE POSITIVE
ACT UPON IT
BREATHE AGAIN DEEPLY
PAT YOURSELF FOR WINNING THAT WAR
NOW SMILE
YOU NOW HAVE, "THE POWER OF SELF-ESTEEM!
Trust me here, the more you create this habit, my friends, the easier it becomes. Like anything else worth having in life, it is not going to come easy, but it does come and it is oh so sweet!!!!!!
"You cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can stop them from building their nests in your hair." -Chinese Proverb